Question of the Week

Detachment is not something that is “done”, in my mind…but rather something we arrive at when we really understand the nature of reality. detachment is a lofty and beautifully esoteric goal, on one hand. to remain equanimous in the face of loss, change, disappointment, etc, certainly is a lovely goal. my most detached moments are most easily experienced when i am feeling incredibly grounded and convinced of my divine nature. when i am NOT in this awareness, however, when i am in ego/story–aka steeped in my humanity– detachment is much harder to embody. and that, i suppose, is when the idea of wanting to “adhere” to it, or effort myself into detachment is quite hard to do. in those times, i do my best not to run from what is emerging. to sit in the heat. this feeling what i am afraid to feel, all the way through, becomes my orientation. seeing where it shows up in my body, my chest, my jaw, my muscles….usually it is a feeling of fear, of sadness, and often a despair, however brief, around the severing of a very human attachment. yes, the aspiration to not be affected by relationships, i can see why one might want that. true detachment and aloofness and disassociation can look very similar. however i am a deep believer in relationship. it is one of the great gifts of being human—fostering and nurturing and allowing these relationships to AFFECT us…to move us, to heal us, to challenge us to open to our wholeness, our bigness. to shake us awake and out of our sleepwalking. to correct what needs correcting, through a more merciful interaction. so to answer your question—sometimes detachment is easy. and sometimes (when i am PMSing, when i am tired, when i am overwhelmed etc) it is very difficult. i attempt to inquire into any given experience. and provided that i have time to process and inquire, i can usually reach a place of detachment, or neutrality, as i like to call it. other times, i can be only somewhat neutral, and that has to be ok for the moment.